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Community Corner

Defining Thankful

It is that time of year again when the country will take a day to pause and reflect upon the things for which we are thankful.  Traditionally speaking, people will sit around a table and share in a Thanksgiving feast while engaging in conversations that thematically reflect upon thoughts of gratitude and appreciation before the turkey, stuffing and sweet potato pie is served.   In due time, bellies will be full, tables will be cleaned up and people will return to their homes.  As the hustle and bustle of everyday life resumes, I am left wondering if these thoughts of thanks will continue to be remembered after the meal or will they be gone as fast as the food is eaten.

 

When considering this generalized snapshot of the day, I began thinking about what Thanksgiving’s significance is to me.  I found myself questioning what it means to be thankful, how to determine what it is that I am thankful for and to whom it is that am I giving thanks.  With that began an exercise of self-examination that led me back to basics and a quick search on Miriam Webster’s website where I was reminded that being thankful means to be “conscious of benefit(s) received” and “expressive of thanks.”

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Building upon that, I have spent a good amount of time reflecting upon the role I have within my family system and how I contribute to both my reactions and the reactions of others.  It has helped me think about my own wants and needs and the ways in which I go about attaining them, hopefully in a mature and calm manner.  I continually recognize the many contributing factors that lead to my own happiness (or lack there of) and am, therefore thankful for this ability to be “conscious of (the) benefits received” as a result of these efforts. 

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The holiday tradition of expressing that for which one is thankful provides an opportunity to both hear and say kind words.  For some, this provides great joy and satisfaction but for me, with my growing desire to examine and understand that for which I give thanks, this it is simply not enough.  I am continually challenging my efforts to “be expressive of thanks” and realize that this is not always best met through the spoken word.  It is through the process of recognizing perceived obstacles and the willingness to challenge myself to work through them that has provided me with a deeper level of satisfaction for which I am thankful.

 

This has proven to be an interesting exercise as it has broadened my own understanding of myself.  It has helped me see things through a lens that includes opportunities and challenges that I can choose or not choose to take on.  It has also resulted in a positive energy and momentum that will likely last far longer than my Thanksgiving feast.  For that, I am truly thankful.

 

Best wishes for a happy and healthy Thanksgiving!

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Lauren J. Hammer , LCSW, MS of the Westfield Counseling Center is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and has a private psychotherapy practice in Westfield, New Jersey.  She is trained in Bowen Family Systems theory and works with individuals, couples and families.  For more information about Lauren J. Hammer, please visit www.westfieldcounselingcenter.com

 

 

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